Children and Euthanasia

Kay Gilchrist, LCSW

The death of a pet can be a particularly difficult situation for young children. For many, this is their first experience with death. Parents face an even greater challenge in dealing with the issue when euthanasia is involved.

Dealing with children and euthanasia depends largely on the child's age and emotional maturity. However, children of all ages should be told exactly what is happening, and not given excuses such as "Buddy ran away."

Very young children (up to age 6 or 7) may not have the cognitive ability to understand the concept of euthanasia without help. They think very literally, so it is best to avoid euphemisms such as "putting Buddy to sleep." Such a statement may make the child fearful of going to sleep himself. The pet is not truly asleep; he is being humanely put to death and will not waken.

Similarly, telling the child simply that the pet is very sick may not be enough of an explanation. Young children need to know that the animal's illness is not like the colds and flu they experience, but instead is a serious illness or problem of old age from which a pet cannot recover and will die anyway.

More in depth discussion will help reassure the child that he is not in danger of "being put to death" when she becomes ill, nor is grandma in danger as she gets older. The best explanation for the young child is one which uses honest language, i.e., "We are going to put Buddy to death to end his suffering." The parent can then explain that this is a kind act that can be done for animals, but not for humans.

As children get older, their ability for abstract thinking develops, and they will more easily be able to grasp the concept of euthanasia. Taking the time for family discussions and allowing the older child to participate in making the decision for euthanasia is very important. Giving the older child plenty of opportunity to ask questions and express opinions will make it easier for her to adjust to the idea that this is a humane action for the pet.

Should children be allowed to be present for the euthanasia? Again, this depends on the age and emotional maturity of the child. Emotional maturity can vary greatly with children of the same age. Even a very young child can exhibit a level of emotional maturity that would allow him to be able to handle being present.

Emotional maturity can be determined by the depth and appropriateness of the child's expression of feeling. If a child is able to express feelings of grief and anger in an appropriate way, and is able, with help sometimes, to regain composure after such expressions of feelings, chances are he will be able to handle the euthanasia.

Other factors to consider are whether the parent wishes to be present and where the euthanasia will be done. Also, it is important to know how well the veterinarian relates to children.

In any case, if the decision is made to allow the child to be present, care should be taken to prepare the child for exactly what will happen. Time to process the experience after it has occurred is vital. The skilled veterinarian should be able to help with both of these.

This article is courtesy of the Pet Loss Support Group of the Denver Area Veterinary Medical Society.